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An IT hiring manager is baffled by candidates Procurement sends for tech positions

Lost in translation:
How Procurement reads IT job descriptions

March 9, 2017

By Lisa Dare

Procurement departments have a tough role. Tasked with making sure vendors operate fairly and the company gets the best price for services, Procurement often finds itself at odds with hiring managers who need top talent right away. And who want to bypass the red tape to find it.

Procurement’s incentives to standardize job descriptions and buy at the cheapest price—combined with a lack of tech understanding—have led to some unfortunate errors, though:

What You Asked For

What Procurement Gave You

Unix programmer

A eunuch programmer

JavaScript developer

The kid slinging lattes at Starbucks

C# programmer

One of the three tenors

Wordpress developer

Someone who can bench press 150 adverbs

Data architect

A person who designs library buildings

Data modeler

A freakishly tall beauty who shows off next season’s 1s and 0s

Agile coach

A gymnastics instructor

Manual tester

Someone who reads manuals to be sure they make sense (actually, this job just begging to be a real position…but you still need a software tester)

Virtualization architect

A designer of lovely virtual reality mansions

IT auditor

An accountant who scrutinizes your expense reports for errors (fun!)

Engineer with Puppet skills

Cookie Monster’s handler

Related: The ultimate guide to the perfect IT job description

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