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Forget what your mother thinks you do at work. Far funnier is what stock photographers imagine.
To be fair, stock photographers have to figure out exactly what it is professionals do at work all day, find credible models and compose shots that tell a story. So it makes sense that they don’t always nail the details.
But while I relate to their challenges, a recent search for systems administrators yielded an especially goofy batch I couldn’t resist sharing.
Ma’am, I’m here to help. I have brought this screwdriver to open your desktop computer, where we’ve conveniently stored all our servers.
Title: Systems engineer
Uniform: Train conductor overalls (because he’s an engineer, of course)
Daily tasks: Searching for servers in all the wrong places
Man: Ma’am, we don’t need a server to connect to. It’s all in here (points to head).
Woman: Brilliant! I’ll just plug into your brain and power up my virtual desktop. Is this the right port?
Name: Mr. Roboto
Title: Server administrator
Uniform: Denim and gloves
Daily tasks: Powering applications ... with his brain
This is so much better than my job at the YMCA. And Dad’s suit fits me so well. Damn, if I don’t look like I know what I’m doing.
Title: Senior systems engineer
Uniform: Dad’s suit and colorful shirt/tie combo from the junior’s department
Daily tasks: Optimizing Tinder profile, tweeting PSAT memes, frantically looking up the Gartner IT Glossary
It’s 9am, we scrubbed the server room spotless, painted it a spectacular white and installed new lighting. Oh, yeah, we backed up the tapes and graphed CPU usage. Team systems administration!
Names: Mandy, Randy and Andy
Title: Systems Administration Team
Uniform: Crossed arms
Daily tasks: Whatever it takes!
You want that file that mysteriously disappeared? How much is it worth to you?
Name: Tabitha, Judge Buster and Desiree
Title: Justice and systems administration
Uniform: Menacing stares and, confusingly, a judge’s robe
Daily tasks: Revenge
Many stock photographers have no friends who work in IT. (Hopefully no one publishes this post: "IT pros: What IT bloggers think you do"). If you enjoyed this article, check out recent posts or follow me on Twitter.